Relationship with God
I've been processing how to write this. It is not an easy one to discuss. However, when my daughter told me that kids at her school were discussing how people with anxiety do not have a good relationship with God... I about came unglued.
If this mindset is being taught to youth in our churches today, wow - just wow. How can anyone believe this?
The students went on to say that the parents must not have done a good job raising their children if the child has anxiety. The conversation centered on the idea that if you have anxiety then you don't trust God enough. My kids aren't perfect, however I know they all have a HUGE heart to care for others and I am thankful for ALL they have faced because they are stronger because of it.
I will admit that I struggle at times with anxiety. My head hurts. My heart beats faster. I end up in a coughing fit. I put a Tic Tac in my mouth to calm myself. The whole time I am anxious I am crying out to God. I stop and I do breathing techniques. It does not happen as often as it did 5 years ago when I was facing major trauma triggers in my life. I'm thankful that time does bring healing and understanding.
Do I like to talk about it? No, precisely because of statements like these students made. Those comments bring anxiety because they cause other people to question and wonder, "Am I doing it right? Am I trying hard enough? Do I really trust God enough?" Hearing comments like that actually trigger the anxiety!!!
Just because I'm divorced doesn't mean I didn't try. I had people tell me to just, "Trust God and keep praying." I did that and if the other person doesn't change...
Just because I choose (currently) not to attend a church building doesn't mean I am a terrible person. People say, "You need community." Yes, I have my community of friends and people I share with and pray with.
Just because I face anxiety at times does not mean I don't have a good relationship with God. David, a man after God's own heart, was so up and down in his life. If you read the Psalms, he was in the depths of despair. In those moments He would cry out to God. David knew God would be there.
There are so many comments that Christian youth are being taught these days that cause division. Religion divides. A relationship with God unites. Youth need to be taught, in fellowships and by their parents, to train their minds and mouths to reflect and speak His love and understanding. They need to understand how their comments and actions hurt and cause anxiety in those around them.
Those with anxiety, who Trust God with their WHOLE heart, mind and soul... they know God is there for them. They KNOW God is going to show up and that He calms them and brings peace. These people have experienced it over and over!
I realize that I cannot blame others for what I face. It is my responsibility to use the techniques and tools I have (including reading the Psalms and worship music) to overcome my battle. I must learn to let the words of others not affect me. Those are MY ways of overcoming anxiety.
Speaking up for myself, however, is also something I will do. A post on Instagram the other day had many quotes about learning to stand up for oneself. So often we are told to "Be the bigger person and don't cause a problem. Just let it be and let it go." The post had several responses to that and one was, "Staying silent only allows the problem to persist and I'm not okay with that." Another one was, "I won't minimize my feelings to avoid making others uncomfortable."
Comments that these students made are not helpful and not up lifting. It is something I cannot let slide. The problem will persist and I'm not okay with that.
My relationship with God is my relationship with Him. No one else can tell me what I can and cannot do to make that bond stronger.
Friends - don't judge others. Don't try to tell them they aren't trying hard enough. Until you are in their shoes you have no idea how they need to walk their journey out.
As I write this I am listening to Leanna Crawford's "Still Waters (Psalm 23)." It is my go to song when I face anxiety...
I pray that we can all learn to listen and learn... I pray that we can all care even when it is hard. I pray that we can all tame our mouths and comments.
That is my heart today... I will run to my Shepherd and let Him lead me and guide me beside still waters and in pastures that are green.
Love and blessings,
Rose
