Happy Alone

This title comes from chatting with a friend via text and her comment of, "we have not been taught to be a happy alone person." She went on to say that we have taught how to be people pleasers. We have taught how to be popular. We have taught that we need to have friends and somehow it has morphed into the idea that more is better.

For most of us who have grown older we recognize that more is not always better. That being popular is not always what it is cracked up to be. And... we have experienced the loneliness that life brings. Often times elderly people are see as angry or bitter. Once they experience loneliness they don't know what to do so they become upset and angry.

Happy Alone??? Definitely not easy. God did create us for companionship and to be in fellowship with others. This is why the church pushes for people to attend church. One of the biggest arguments is that we need to have "fellowship."

I understand that and I do acknowledge that attending a church can bring some of this. What I find challenging is that church brings with it a set of expectations and if you do not meet those expectations than the fellowship is not there. If you don't meet the "standards" of the church you decide to attend then there is not fellowship. You are not included, or you are not valued for the person you are. If you question something they do or promote, you end up being left behind.

Harsh? Maybe... and yet it is true in so many places. Church has become a social club. Each church has its own "feel" and "vibe" and either you fit or you don't. It ends up making people alone.

I think it is time we learn, and teach young people, how to be happy alone. We need to understand that our value is in God and God alone. That our relationship with Him is most important. That the people around us will come and go. HE is there forever. As we learn it, we need to teach our children. BE THERE as parents for your kids. Don't shove it off on someone else to walk them through the pain and hurt. Find them mentors if you can, but YOU be there. Teach them that being alone is God's way of making them stronger.

Am I saying that people should not have friends? Absolutely NOT. I have my few friends that are around me. I'm willing to make more friends. I just want them to appreciate me and all that I am. I want them to challenge me, but listen to me. I want them to NOT have expectations of who they want me to be, or how they want me to act. I want them to walk with me through the challenges of life.

We need to teach our young people to be patient as they wait for these people to come into their life. That when they feel alone it is okay. Does it hurt? YES! Being alone is not fun! Waiting is not easy!!! And yet we all know that those who "wait on the Lord will renew their strength."

If we don't learn this concept, when people hurt us we become bitter. We become people pleasers because we think we need to have others so we just do as they do... Then we are not ourselves and true to ourselves, so we become angry. That leads to bitterness.

God WILL bring us who we need at the right moment. For that we an be thankful. Trust HIM to do that, and in the season of being alone, find a way to be happy. Find a way to bring JOY to others.

Love and blessings,

Rose