Feelings?

To be honest - this is not a Happy Mother's Day Post. In fact, I probably shouldn't post this today and rain on Mother's Day Celebrations, but after a conversation I had yesterday, things I have observed this week - I believe it needs to be said.

I have watched what bitterness and anger, jealousy and pride, do to people. I have watched relationships fall apart because people are not willing to admit to their feelings. Those who do admit to their feelings are scorned and looked down upon for being "too honest" or told, "you can't base things on feelings."

Jealousy - it happens... Especially among youth. Our young people are taught not to be jealous, as it is a bad thing. Being jealous is a "sin." So, feelings get stuffed down deep inside.

Guess what happens after years of stuffing those feelings????? Bitterness. Anger. Depression. Those are definitely not healthy feelings, but those happen too. However, if you are taught not to be bitter or anger or depressed, do you think you will admit to it?

Feelings happen friends!

Feelings are real and CANNOT and SHOULD NOT be ignored.

It is OKAY to admit to them. It is what you DO in response to them that is important.

I would rather have my child admit to a friend or family member that they are jealous of them and talk through the feelings than stuff them and harbor them. If someone tells my child they are jealous of him/her, I would help my child understand how to respond to that person and walk out loving and being there for that person, then telling the person those feelings shouldn't exist.

My thoughts are (and these are my thoughts and observations) that youth in religious settings are taught not to have feelings and when they experience them, not knowing what to do with them, they end up turning against the people around them. It is easier to run away from the person they are jealous of, than talk to the person and say, "You know I am jealous of you, how can we work through this." They stuff the thoughts, feelings and emotions and don't deal with them. Since those feelings are "wrong," they think they shouldn't have them.

We must acknowledge feelings. We must recognize them and call them what they are. We cannot live in them, but we must admit to them.

If someone comes to us and admits feelings of jealous, anger, bitterness, depression... WALK THEM THROUGH IT. LISTEN. Be there and help them!

Parents - this is something to teach your children. Teach them not to avoid conflict. Teach them to WALK THOUGH IT. Teach them to admit to their feelings. Teach them how to understand others who have those feelings.

LISTEN! The skill we have lost. Technology and social media have taken away our ability to LISTEN.

Today, find someone to LOVE, ACCEPT, and LISTEN too.

Love and blessings,

Rose